2020 is pretty much
hell on earth.
2020 is pretty much
hell on earth.
Let's make sure your soul survives the coming year. Together.
Let's make sure your soul survives the coming year. Together.
we both know
we both know
You're more tired than you've ever been. You find yourself wringing your hands or staring into space because IT'S ALL TOO FUCKING MUCH. You can't seem to catch your breath, or you subconsciously hold your breath because your body is going through a trauma response.
YES ME TOO I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
My name is Kristen Kalp and in the past 9 months, I've almost died of Covid (before it had a name!), moved from Philly to Portland, nearly died (again WEE!) of lung-related issues due to Covid, experienced months of lockdown thousands of miles from friends and family, lived in a city overrun by shady 'government' agents detaining citizens in unmarked vans, gotten used to the sound of giant police drones over my home each day, and dealt with the death of my grandmother from Covid.
Brushes with death, grief, loss, and a sea change in the way society works have already happened, AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE FOURTH QUARTER OF THE YEAR YET.
Breathwork -- i.e. my healthiest coping mechanism -- has kept me as steady as it's possible to be during these massive life changes.
I am no longer afraid of myself or my interiors, and I can think I want nothing more for YOU as well.
Taking care of your soul is ranked at #427 on your to-do list.
Taking care of your soul is ranked at #427 on your to-do list.
i know, i know...
If you'd like to cultivate steadiness and Resilience in the coming year...
Together is for you.
If you'd like to cultivate steadiness and Resilience in the coming year...
Together is for you.
Keep a totally doable focus on soul care that goes beyond bath salts and meditation apps.
Keep a totally doable focus on soul care that goes beyond bath salts and meditation apps.
Learn to trust breathwork as an ally for connecting with & growing your intuition.
Learn to trust breathwork as an ally for connecting with & growing your intuition.
01
02
Wrestle with life's biggest questions in a live, unrecorded space (i.e. The Speakeasy).
03
Listen to secret podcast episodes that will help you keep being alive. No matter what.
Listen to secret podcast episodes that will help you keep being alive. No matter what.
04
Remember who you are and why you're on the planet, even in the face of ABSOLUTE CHAOS.
05
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17
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19
my qualifications, by the numbers:
my qualifications,
by the numbers:
Who am I to teach, you ask?
We'll gather once a month to share sacred space and breathe together. You'll have plenty of time to get comfy and explore your interiors each time.
Joining at *any* point before August 2021 gets you instant access to all prior Together breathwork class recordings!
We'll gather once a month to share sacred space and breathe together. You'll have plenty of time to get comfy and explore your interiors each time. Recordings will be made available AND you'll be encouraged to show up live each time.
Joining at *any* point before August 2021 gets you instant access to all prior breathwork classes!
Why yes there ARE secret podcast episodes waiting for you already, with at least 10 more to come as the year goes on!
We'll dig in to the themes I simply don't feel comfortable sharing for free with the Karens of the world, and then I'll dare you to respond to the podcast so we actually talk to each other.
Together includes:
LIVE breathwork x 12
LIVE breathwork x 12
Secret Podcast x 12!
Secret Podcast x 12!
$396 value
$300 value
With much human contact limited to recorded and tracked spaces (i.e. the internet) -- simply being able to speak freely is precious to me.
I suspect the same is true for you!
The Speakeasy is a 2-hour container for us to gather and talk about ALL THE THINGS freely and confidently. Business, life, feelings, overwhelm -- all of it is on the table during these times. And none of it is recorded.
::whew::
With much human contact limited to recorded and tracked spaces (i.e. the internet) -- simply being able to speak freely is precious to me.
I suspect the same is true for you!
The Speakeasy is a 2-hour container for us to gather and talk about ALL THE THINGS freely and confidently. Business, life, feelings, overwhelm -- all of it is on the table during these times. And none of it is recorded.
::whew::
Speakeasy x 4
Speakeasy x 4
close to priceless
actually fucking priceless
here come really good reasons to do this shit
really good reasons to do this shit
At its most basic level, the human body has just four emotions: fear, anger, sadness, and joy. The more we try to numb or tamp down our anger, fear, and sadness, the more we lose the ability to feel joy.
Breathwork is a simple, sacred practice that uses the breath to help you feel your feelings — yes, even the shitty ones and awful ones — so that, about 30 minutes later, you’ve got increased access to joy.
Not rainbows and puppies joy — life force joy. Resisting oppression joy. Pandemic joy. Donating to and participating in movements joy. Living-through-a-dystopian-novel joy.
Buckets of joy can be reclaimed when you begin a breathwork practice.
To start, you’ll need a place to lie down and a pillow.
I'll walk you through the breathing pattern every single time we meet, so please don't stress about whether you can do this.
At its most basic level, the human body has just four emotions: fear, anger, sadness, and joy. The more we try to numb or tamp down our anger, fear, and sadness, the more we lose the ability to feel joy.
Breathwork is a simple, sacred practice that uses the breath to help you feel your feelings — yes, even the shitty ones and awful ones — so that, about 30 minutes later, you’ve got increased access to joy.
Not rainbows and puppies joy — life force joy. Resisting oppression joy. Pandemic joy. Donating to and participating in movements joy. Living-through-a-dystopian-novel joy.
ALL THE JOY can be reclaimed when you begin a breathwork practice.
To start, you’ll need a place to lie down and a pillow. Also lungs. ;)
I'll walk you through the breathing pattern every single time we meet, so please don't stress about whether you can do this. You can.
Okay but WTF IS BREATHWORK, Kristen?
Okay but WTF IS BREATHWORK?
Here's how Together works:
Here's how it works:
Join for $22 a month and you're on the hook for a year of Together-ness!
first
Watch your inbox for monthly breathwork classes and The Secret Sessions podcast access.
AND THEN
Actually show up and do the work. That's the key to the whole thing, and I'm rooting for you big time.
AND THEN
Together will help your soul
survive if...
Together will be WILDLY WORTHWHILE for you if...
1.
2.
3.
4.
Together includes:
LET'S DO THIS!
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my qualifications, by the numbers:
my qualifications,
by the numbers:
Who am I to teach, you ask?
Start your breathwork journey immediately -- just check your email after you sign up. Lie down, hit play, and get to work!
Start your breathwork journey immediately -- just check your email after you sign up. Lie down, hit play, and get to work!
Grab your spot today for instant access to Breathwork for Coping with 2020!
Grab your spot today for instant access to Breathwork for Coping with 2020!
Breathwork for
Breathwork for
Coping with 2020
Coping with 2020
Economies all over the planet are tanking. We're all wildly disoriented because the world of 2019 no longer exists.
Covid is rampant. America is THE BEST at failed pandemic response and not much else. The continued and escalating oppression of Black, Brown, and Indigenous peoples is horrifying.
The dystopian novel is HERE, and the overwhelming fear it brings will rob our insides of all hope if we let it.
LET'S BREATHE THROUGH THE SHITSHOW.
Economies all over the planet are tanking. We're all wildly disoriented because the world of 2019 no longer exists.
Covid is rampant. America is THE BEST at failed pandemic response and not much else. The continued and escalating oppression of Black, Brown, and Indigenous peoples is horrifying.
The dystopian novel is HERE, and the overwhelming fear it brings will rob our insides of all hope if we let it.
Let's breathe through the shitshow.
Life is laughably hard right now.
Start your breathwork journey immediately -- just check your email after you sign up. Lie down, hit play, and get to work!
Start your breathwork journey immediately -- just check your email after you sign up. Lie down, hit play, and get to work! This freebie disappears on September 8th.
Grab your spot today for instant access to Breathwork for Coping with 2020!
Grab your spot today for instant access to Breathwork for Coping with 2020!
Breathwork for
Breathwork for
Coping with 2020
Coping with 2020
Bonus ends Sept 8th!
But wait there's more
We'll meet for breathwork via Zoom on the third Friday of each month, starting September 18th at 2pm ET. Each class lasts up to 2 hours. Recordings *are* included with your Together membership!
Our four Speakeasy meetings will happen on Tuesdays at 2pm ET. Again, these are 2 hours max!
I'll be quite reminder-y about each breathwork class, so you don't have to freak about dates and times -- but they're listed if you need 'em.
Pandemic Note: All *dates* are subject to change if I get Covid (again), but the *time and day-of-the-week* will remain the same for the sake of continuity -- i.e. breathwork will always be held on Friday, and Speakeasy on Tuesday.
September 18th October 16th November 13th
December 18th
January 15th February 19th
March 19th
April 16th
May 21st
June 18th
July 16tH
August 20th
December 18th January 15th February 19th
March 19th April 16th May 21st
June 18th July 16tH August 20th
Breathwork dates
Speakeasy dates
December 8th
March 9th
June 8th
March 9th, 2021 June 8th
FEAR NOT! You'll get a printable calendar of all dates and times when you join!
"That was the most intense, most unblocking thing I’ve done in a very long time. I want more!"
April
got unstuck
Does breathwork...work?
CUE THE TESTIMONIALS!!!
But does breathwork...work? CUE THE TESTIMONIALS!!!
"The breathwork was able to rattle my insides and shake some of the heavy stuff loose.
"The breathwork was able to rattle my insides and shake some of the heavy stuff loose.
I cried, a lot, and I kept breathing. I forgave myself, and the people who have taken care of me in whatever way they could manage, and then myself again. And my past and future and best selves are all proud of me. And all of my guides love me. And I know this now in a way that I didn't an hour ago. And I have you to thank for it. This is such a gift."
I cried, a lot, and I kept breathing. I forgave myself, and the people who have taken care of me in whatever way they could manage, and then myself again. And my past and future and best selves are all proud of me. And all of my guides love me. And I know this now in a way that I didn't an hour ago. And I have you to thank for it. This is such a gift."
Kristen
Kristen
remembered herself
remembered herself
"IT WAS INCREDIBLE. I cried. I laughed. I let go of stuff I’ve been holding for about 35 years!"
Sara
let it all go
don't take my word for it...
TOGETHER WILL HELP YOU:
BUT HOW DO I KNOW THIS SHIT IS FOR *ME*...?
get better at feeling your feelings (read: more access to joy)
You're afraid of your feelings because they're increasingly intense (read: unignorable)
hear the voice of your intuition more clearly
you can't hear the voice of your intuition
feel less alone during these 'unprecedented' times
YOur mental health took a nosedive with pandemic and hasn't recovered
EXPERIENCE deep connection with other humans
you miss deep connection with other humans
doomscroll less and enjoy life more, no matter what.
you really like that's what she said and want 12 more secret podcast episodes to enjoy
for real tho if you scrolled this far admit it -- you dig it.
YOU ALREADY SPEND MORE THAN $22 A MONTH ON FOOD DELIVERY, WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING THAT COULD ACTUALLY FEED YOU?
YOU ALREADY SPEND MORE THAN $22 A MONTH ON FOOD DELIVERY, WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING THAT COULD ACTUALLY FEED YOU?
Together puts sacred space on lock.
You can:
a.) spend $22 a month on bullshit impulse purchases from Instagram ads
OR
b.) commit to doing the deepest work possible in the coming year.
PLEASE CHOOSE OPTION B.
No excuses, no forgetting, no hiding until whatever THIS is ends.
You can spend $22 a month on bullshit impulse purchases from Instagram ads, or you can commit to doing the deepest work possible in the coming year.
JOIN RIGHT MEOW
for real tho if you scrolled this far admit it -- you dig it.
YOUR LOVED ONES WILL THANK YOU
What if I only want the secret podcast OR the breathwork classes?
What if I only want the secret podcast OR the breathwork classes?
That's totally fine and the price is the same: $22 a month! It's a steal no matter how you slice it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I want to cancel before the year is up?
The whole point of this is to COMMIT to a year of being together, so cancellations will not be processed. Please be sure you're all the way in before you join!
The whole point of this is to COMMIT to a year of being together, so cancellations will not be processed. Please be sure you're all the way in before you join!
Does this have a Facebook group/private Insta/other?
Nope! Because the point of our time is to be fully present together, the last thing I'll be doing is helping you spend more time on social media in any capacity.
Nope! Because the point of our time is to be...together...the last thing I'll be doing is helping you spend more time on social media in any capacity.
Can I get a discount?
Can I get a discount?
If you're in need of financial assistance for any reason (unemployment, intersecting bullshit systems of oppression that have made 2020 40% harder than 2019 due to ::gestures at entire United States::, unexpected raptor attack, etc...) I got you.
Promo code HALFOFF makes access to Together $11 per month. These promo codes are limited AF, so please just ACTUALLY NEED THE DISCOUNT and we'll call it even.
::honor system, ENGAGE::
If you're in need of financial assistance for any reason (unemployment, intersecting bullshit systems of oppression that have made 2020 40% harder than 2019 due to ::gestures at entire United States::, unexpected raptor attack, etc...) I got you.
Promo code HALFOFF makes access to Together $11 per month. These promo codes are limited AF, so please just ACTUALLY NEED THE DISCOUNT and we'll call it even.
Will breathwork classes be available individually?
Breathwork classes may be for sale for $33 each at a drop-in rate. Buying one-off classes means you won't have access to the secret podcast, our Speakeasy gatherings, or the Together breathwork class archive.
What will the secret podcast episodes cover?
What will the secret podcast episodes cover?
I could give you a long-ass list of planned topics, but that list will most definitely change by the time August 2021 rolls around. (Read: WHAT IS PREDICTABLE ANYMORE?)
I'll be podcasting for each month based on what's happening in the world at the time. Nothing canned, nothing recorded 8 months ahead -- just you and me wrestling with life, like always.
I could give you a long-ass list of planned topics, but that list willmost definitely change by the time August 2021 rolls around. (Read: WHAT IS PREDICTABLE ANYMORE?)
I'll be podcasting for each month based on what's happening in the world at the time. Nothing canned, nothing recorded 8 months ahead -- just you and me wrestling with life, like always.
What happens during a Speakeasy?
Come with your hairiest life tangles and most pressing issues that you just CAN'T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN. We'll address them and see what happens! Best case scenario, you get a solution. Worst case scenario, you're safely held in a space full of people who understand.
Come with your hairiest life tangles and most pressing issues that you just CAN'T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN. We'll address them and see what happens! Best case scenario, you get a solution. Worst case scenario, you're safely held in a space full of people who understand.
You can:
a.) spend $22 a month on bullshit impulse purchases from Instagram ads
b.) commit to doing the deepest work possible in the coming year.
You can:
a.) spend $22 a month on bullshit impulse purchases from Instagram ads
OR
b.) commit to doing the deepest work possible in the coming year.
PLEASE CHOOSE OPTION B.
b.) commit to doing the deepest work possible in the coming year.
join right meow
